Psalm 51:7 --- "...wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow."

Matthew 5:23 --- "Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother ..."

Wife: We heard about that in church today, so you better reconcile first.

Husband: You're not my brother, you're my wife!

Wife: I didn't marry no ignoramus ...you know it's referring to all Christians.

Husband: Okay, I'll give you that, but I'd also like to talk about what I have against you.

Wife: You'll give me that, you say? That's not the only thing you can give me! You can reconcile me with a new dress, then we'll talk.

Faye models her new dress at church on Sunday.

Faye:  Do you like my new dress?

Best friend: No, I think you have the worst taste in patterns, and you should never wear baggy clothes to cover your skinny body. Your dress looks like a flag on a flagpole, and when I first saw you today I felt I should put my hand over my heart ...thinking that I was going to hear a chorus of the Pledge of Allegiance.

Faye: Well, the only allegiance you have, my friend, is to food. The reason you put your hand to your heart is probably chest pain.  You eat so much, I fear the next song I hear will be 'The Day Thou Gaveth, Lord, Is Ended', as I look into your casket.